I have been so damn active in here lately
/ahhahaha let me explain
I have been ill and I still am. This shit began over a year ago and started to get worse this year. Before my summer vacation started I struggled every single day to drag myself to school and spend my nights fighting with my homework and my place was like a dump since I hadn't energy to clean or wash laundry. I had problems with sleeping. Sometimes I was so tired that I wasn't able to do a sandwich to eat and I had hard time walking school's stairs since I felt so dizzy, because I haven't eaten. When I was home I spent most likely over 80% my day laying in my bed.
I haven't been drawing for a long long time. I just can't. Because I suck. I always draw same facial expressions and poses. My style sucks and I fucking hate it since I'm stuck with it and I can't find way out. There was this painting course last fall what I attended and I worked really hard and during working teacher said ''looks good'' and stuff like that. Later on when painting was done teacher criticized my style and said that I should try something new and go forward and that hurt me so fucking much. Just why I can't use the style I like? I do try new styles sometimes but not fucking always. And I haven't made all acrylic paint painting before that, and that was the new thing for me in that painting so why I would mess with my style also? Fuck this I can't write about this anymore, hurts too much.
Currently I am waiting to get some help with my illness. There's two treatments what I am waiting for. I have to wait 2-3 months '': D'' fuck society
School starts again next week and I have some exams what I didn't passed in spring so I have to redo them. I don't want to go there, I want to stay home, because I don't want to return the living hell what I went through in the spring.